A good marriage requires
both partners to behave like grown ups… but sometimes, in the middle
of an argument, even the most reasonable adults can act a little
they’re annoyed at their wives, but are pretending otherwise.
3. “I’ll usually hum or whistle a random song after the conversation is over. I guess my subconscious mind knows that if I mumble anything
stupid out of frustration, I’ll probably regret it. Come to think of
it, that doesn’t even work for me anymore because she actually caught on
to the fact that I only hum when I’m annoyed and that annoys her all
the same. There is really no winning in this situation.
“Usually, I retreat to my office/music room, light a few candles, shove
Bluetooth buds into my ears and put some vinyl on my turntable. To
complete the ensemble, I flip open my laptop and pretend I’m busy working on an article or editing photos. Eventually I forget about the petty thing that annoyed
me in the first place and, bonus, I listened to some great music and
probably ended up doing some actually work in the process. Most
importantly though, I didn’t get into an argument with the person I love
the most about something relatively stupid in the grand scheme of
For instance: ‘Who’s a good puppy? You are! You would never forget to
pick up my beer at the store, would you? No, you would not!’ This
behavior earns me a hat trick for being condescending, infantilizing and
cruel to animals.
confrontation, I ask rhetorical questions and thank my wife for everything, especially the thing I’m mad about. ‘How
did my collection of antique Snapple bottle caps wind up in the trash
bin? Thanks for that!’ Note: Sometimes she puts them in recycling.
Fortunately, we’re both pretty good at not letting things like that
turn into a big to-do. Now, I just walk away and divert my attention to
something healthy, like reading a book in the other room until I realize
I was the problem. I have a lot of good book recommendations.
By the time I come back, I’ve forgotten what I was annoyed about and
she’s moved on to something else. Of course, sometimes I end up surfing
several times a day.
I know Kim likes them a certain way, so I’ll put them in different
order or ― gasp! ― upside down or askew. Yeah, I know, it’s childish,
but it makes me chuckle when I catch her redoing the pillows.
I’m mad at my spouse I essentially just start exaggerating the things
I’m doing around the house. So if I’m putting away her laundry, I’ll
take long, pained strides to her closet, grab at my back as if the pain
of laundering is growing too great and then intentionally have
everything fall on the floor before picking it back up. I also
for some reason seem to go into hyper-cleaning/cooking/homework helping
mode as if doing everything will really show her how mad I am. In retrospect, this seems like a pretty useless action.