Giving up on a marriage is not a very cool thing for us. We leave behind those great moments we had with our partners, we decided to forget about them and just move on.
At times, we find ourselves in situation where we just have to leave, but in truth, it was never what we wished for at the start of the whole thing. Before you give up on a marriage I have two things you should try. They might help bring things back to normal. Here we go.
Complain without blame
No two partners ever agree on the same thing always. We find ourselves in situations where we feel something is being done wrong. Everyone feels like that, but if care is not taken it could lead to something else.
If you have to complain about something you are worried about, you have to do it the intelligent way. Doing it the intelligent way means complaining without attaching a single blame on your partner.
Take a look at this scenario. “I was worried when you didn’t call me. We agreed that we’d check in when one of us was running late” and “You never follow through, you’re so selfish.”
The two statement are simply different ways of complaining, but the second attached a blame to it.
I would not say what people would have done, I would say what I would have done. If my partner used the first statement, I would simply, “I am sorry”. But if the other statement was used, I would feel a nucleus of anger evolving from my mind. What would follow is something I can’t tell.
Complaining without blaming is a key. When you complain without blaming, you are able to deliver your point, at the same time, your partner would likely listen to you.
Resolving conflicts instead of avoiding them
We often make a big mistake at times in order to save a marriage. One of the mistake often made is trying to avoid conflict instead of resolving it.
We are aware conflict are enemies of a marriage, so we simply avoid them. While that seems like a solution to us, it remains a mistake to reality.
Conflicts should not be avoided, they should rather be resolved when they. Making attempts to suppress conflicts only convert the conflicts to another form.
They can be converted to unhappiness, anger or hatred. But when you allow the conflict to come out, it comes out and go. What is left would be resolving of issues.
You should not suppress conflicts, at the same time you should make conscious effort to stir them up. When they come up, let them out and resolve the issue.