There are certain behaviors you come across in relationships. You may think they are as a result of love, but in truth, they are abuses. Yeah, they are. It’s very common and in fact I was a victim of such. Although we have the physical abuses, we also have the behavioral abuses. These abuses might be quite difficult to identify, that is why i have written this articles to create awareness on forms behavioral abuses take.
1. The “if you really love me, you will” phrase
One of the most popular form behavioral abuses take, is manipulation by the “if you really love me, you will…” phrase. Abusers often say the phrase to their partner to manipulate them. The victim feels they love their partner so much, so they do as requested. While the victim might feel they are only proving their love for their partner, this is a total abuse. Love has never meant control. When you see a partner using this phrase to get you doing something, then its time to do something about it.
2. The “because I love you so much” phrase
Here we have another familiar phrase often used by abusers, especially men. Abusers do crazy things and when you ask why they did it, they tell you that because they love you. This phrase is a cunning one, the victim might find it uneasy to identify it as an abuse, but it is. A partner should never do stupid things and say “because I love you so much”. It’s wrong and such has to be corrected, if correction seems impossible then it has to be the hard way.
3. The “I want to take care of you” phrase
If I must be sincere i have also been an abuser in the past. I used to do stupid things all because I wanted to protect my girl at all cost. This can be forcing a partner not to go somewhere. It’s a very great thing to care in a relationship, but when care leads to stupid actions, it’s time to know that it is not love. It’s a pure abuse.
4. Suicide threats
The use of suicide threat in a relationship is very common. This is often used by a partner to threaten the other party not to leave. Telling a partner that you would commit suicide if they leave might seem like a sign of deep love. It is not, it is only a threat. Breaking up is not so cool, yes everyone knows that. But if you find yourself in a situation where a partner threatens to commit suicide, just know that it is an abuse. This kind of abuse should be taken serious. Most times they are empty threat, but it’s great to know how serious a partner is. This would determine what approach should be taken.
5. The ” I just want what’s best for us” phrase
I have seen this ruin a family. This phrase is a very nasty one and mostly used by men. Abusers say they only want what’s best for them at the expense of their partner. It is very important to be careful when a partner does something stupid and says ” I just want what’s best for us”. Keep away from this type of relationship.